Sometimes people ask me if I get to hang out with a lot of movie stars, since I am a celebrity and all. I tell them that normally politicians tend to run in different circles than Hollywood celebs, but I was roommates with Tommy Lee Jones back in the day. And let me tell you, we got into our fair share of shenanigans. Well ok, mostly I was the sober one trying to keep everyone out of trouble. But I've witnessed some crazy stuff.
Sometimes it's hard hanging out with celebrities because they're always inviting you to stuff that isn't very eco-friendly. For example, Tommy's wife Dawn recently invited Tipper and I to this party that they were throwing in Dubai. And you know women. Dawn and Tipper get talking about purses or something, and how the ones in Dubai are so cool and everyone is shopping there, and blah blah blah. So Tipper says she wants to go to this party and I am like "hey, we can't be flying halfway around the world just for a party. Do you know how many carbon emissions we'd put out over the course of that trip?" I felt kind of bad because she seemed really upset, and of course this wasn't the first time that I was putting my foot down against some celebrity nonsense. But I knew that she loved the environment too, and once she calmed down she would realize that we were making the right decision. Sure enough, once I poured a couple glasses of wine and popped in a Planet Earth DVD, she came out of our room and snuggled.
At that point I thought everything was cool, but to this day I am a little suspicious about what happened next. The very next day I got a call from Bill.
"Hey Al," he says, "I just had a speaker cancel on me for a CGI conference coming up next week. I know it's really short notice, but is there any way you could give that same slide show presentation you did last weekend? It was so great, with the polar bears and what-not."
"Sure Bill, of course." I don't know how many of you have ever talked to Bill, but he has this amazing way of getting people to say yes before they realize what they've committed to. "Where's the talk?" I ask him.
"Dubai."
Score 1 for Tipper.
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